WHAT IF...

So many what ifs in my mind at this moment...
I am feeling terrible

-Frustration- -anger- -grief- -loneliness-

What if I had been a little more alert of time...
What if I had set my alarm properly the night before...
What if I had woken up from my cozy bed that morning...
What if I had not worried so much the night before... though I cried over the insomnia
and What if...
and What if...

That was the day I have been waiting so long. Means so much to me.
I have been training so hard... No one knows. Not even her.
I thought i could get over this.
No. I have not. I could not.
I could not forgive myself for this totally stupid, careless mistake.
Despite all this, the fact is still the fact.
I have to fight my way to get over those terrible feeling.
Convincing myself that it was my OWN FAULT.

To a flirty boy.
What if we had never known each other?
What if you were just a stranger to me?
Are you aware what's wrong with me?
Are you thinking what I am thinking too?
What if you were absolutely nothing i thought you are?

Then, you are killing me...

I will be writing again...
Night world...