Monday, December 24, 2012

Meant For It

I am grateful that I'm given this gift.
This kind of special gift that not everyone is awarded with.

I am meant for it, meant for sports, meant to beome this active girl.
I play most of the games, from track and field, badminton to volleyball.
Although not very expert in each of the game.

When I was 16, when I first ran 400m I won gold in district of Kuala Terangganu.
And was selected for the district team, made me the first female student from MRSMKT to go for the state team in track event.
Terengganu has always been the best state when it comes to sports.
And my 4x400m relay team won gold in MSSM Terengganu.

In the meantime in MRSM, I took part in Taekwondo, and I won Gold in Taekwondo Championship MRSM Se-Malaysia and also several medals in club championships.

And I was selected to compete in Sukan Remaja Pahang which I won silver in my category, defeated by a 21 year-old Kuantan fighter and immediately brought me to the SUKMA team of Pahang.

When we were made compulsory to take Hockey in one of the week in first sem of Form 5.
I impressed the Hockey's teacher of MRSM in our 2nd lesson and news and rumours spreaded that I played it great in class.I didn't even know what made me play that so easily.
I was invited by the coach of Hockey's team to play Hockey. But my track coach turned the offer down.

In MRSM we had to undergo the physical test every semester. And my record for 2.4km run stayed still which was below 12 minutes. And that year I won first in cross-country 5km of the school and I was selected for cross country event of the state. I got 12th, sadly.

In my university years, when I first exposed to Kayak, I was spotted and selected to MASUM 2011 and I got 3rd place in TK2 with my partner Shakirah which shocked most of the people out especially the coach. No one had expected me to win and with only 1 month of short training and I was given the most hopeless event. During training, the coach had assigned me to this event because it was the most hopeless event to win because of the existence of national kayakers from what I was told.

And I never mentioned, I can't swim, at all. So I took swimming class since October which offers 12 s
lessons in UM swimming pool. After some practices, that swimming instructor, I never knew her name shocked within the last 2 classes and asked me whether I knew how to swim before came to her class. She loved the way I swim and she said those strokes were so perfect. And she said I'll be qualified into competition if I train more. I know she mean it since she did not tell 15 other swimming learners in the class Of course, I was thrilled.
I really appreciate what she was saying. Means alot to me. It is all like Deja Vu, so similar with the Hockey stuff the coach told me.

So I figured, I'm quite good at this. =) Thankful. now I recall everything and I found out I'm really meant to do good in sports. All I need to do is just focus and put in more effort.

Thanks to the sporty gift I have been awarded. However, there were a lot of opportunities to outshine that I missed. Life's like this. You fall, you take, you give and you lose. So look ahead and all the thing I have missed become something I cherish.

 Write again =)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Find Inspiration

I have this one super huge need and desire:

Find My Inspiration

I need to step out there and go seeking for it!

Good luck finding it in no time. 

Thursday, December 6, 2012


I skipped his class for 2 weeks in a row. And then he approached me to ask about the reasons or excuses.

I have never seen him asking this from other students who had been absent.

So I took it he care about me since I am the only Chinese female student in his class.
Then, I made a promise, I swore I'd never skipped his class again.

And until so far, I'm so proud of myself that I keep my words.
Although sometimes, the urge to go swimming or the urge to rest after morning run fight against the promise so hard.
I did it however. And I hope everything will be going fine in this last 3 weeks of lecture in this semester.

My project presentation will be next week 16th December 2012.

I'm struggling now, for the fact that I have not done any analysis yet.

I have been staying up until 2am or 3 am since Sunday until today.

I sincerely hope all these staying-ups come out with something valuable and worthy to this project.

Which is why, I am going to end this post now and resume my journal-research with my panda-eyes.
Well, dear pandas sorry for using that phrase just because this phrase look ugly on me.

Let everything goes well.

Write again soon.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


When I look in your eyes, I learned that
You are no longer the 'you' which I fell for

It's really hard for me.
Truth is truth, fact is still fact.
How I wanted to scream it out...
Scream out my feelings

This crush that I have kept for so long should stop now.

Write again soon...

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A Fighter- My Mom

To my beloved, dearest and honourable Mom,

She is a fighter.
She is so strong and she is the greatest Mom ever.
She has this angel-like-kindness.
She did 4 jobs to raise us.

She knows everything, from car maintenance>tyres>house chores> Everything
she cooks heavenly dishes.

She was a fighter and she is always a fighter.

I'm praying that she will live healthily, happily and wonderfully ever after.
God, please listen to my prayer and let my mom be blessed.
Fingers crossing.

Fingers crossing.

What if

What if I still dream about you some nights?

What if I'm dreaming about us talking about everything just like we used to do?

What if I'm assuming we were as just close as before?

What if every time I'm on Facebook chat, I wish there will be a window pop-up with your name on it?

What if I could never get over this?

What if I'm looking at the corner outside library where we were sitting with you bringing me supper?

What if I write down the quotes from you in my diary?

What if I'm still reading our chat history in Skype?

What if I thought I have gotten over you, but in fact somewhere in my heart, your name had already been carved on it. And whenever the blood passes through the place where your name had been carved, it gives ache.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dangerous Stare

I've got to say
I love this...

Such a dangerous stare, both of them!
This is a scene in "Heartstrings". I haven't watched but I love it though. Haha!!  

New Drama Series

There was a day this week that I found out the internet speed worked so rapidly...
And then a mischievous idea came into my mind...
Hehe.. what are you waiting for? "Let's download some drama."
Then I flipped through the pages of the drama lists in the webpage.
This title caught my eyes <America's Horror Story>!!!
Wow.. just fit my favourite type well.
In my experience, it's rare that they made drama series of ghost story.
Oh there's one the Supernatural. Yeah..I watch that too.
 <America horrow Story> now in Season 2.
But of course I wanted to download the Season 1 first.

That night, I was terrified... There were some scenes that really scared me to earth.
And then I googled it the next day. I was glad that they had the good responses and feedbacks from audiences. This means they'd continue filming it. =)

Jeng jeng jeng....
There are 12 episodes in Season 1, now I'm at episode 8.
I was planning to finish it last night but I was too exhausted from the evening run.

Tomorrow is holiday!!! Yay...!!!!.........................
I'm so going to finish it tonight =) =)......................
Jeng jeng... make it Terror holiday's eve!..............

Jom Jom...

Write again soon =)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


This is the first time in my entire life

That I can't stop thinking about my Mom in every hour.
 I just can't stop thinking about her...
Her face, her voice, everything she has been doing...

All of it just keeps floating in my brain and flashing in front of my eyes one by one...
Ah...I miss her so much...

I just want her to know I'll always love her

And this love for her is eternal and never stop.

First day of Grim

13th October  Rainy day  23.00


Saw your pale and ashen face, bloodless...

I notice how thin you have become.

It had been only one month, where have all the meats gone?
Looking at you, I feel an ache in my heart... A great pain...

Trying so hard to hold back my tears.. I know you don't want to see them.
I know that's not what you want now.
I only can scream beneath my heart.

I'm not sure already... Should I still keep the faith?

But you are still keeping the faith. You always do.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

15th August

I'm about to make some changes.
I wish and I hope the consequences and what happens next will be good.

I hope everything will be good and wonderful.

Keep my fingers crossed.

Write again soon.

Friday, August 10, 2012

10th August and It's Friday

Yesterday evening...
The things that i have been busying for the week has come to its 90% completion.
So I treat myself a bottle of A&W root beer.
Yum Yum....
It's Friday Friday.. Got to get down on Friday..

Remember Glee did the cover of "Friday" by Rebecca Black in Season 2?
Oh.. everybody hates that song but I like it so much after Glee did the cover of it...

They make it sound so Merry friday!

Monday, August 6, 2012

6th August

It's a public holiday!!!!
Best day in this week. I feel so happy to have this day OFF.

At Starbucks, The Mines Shopping centre now.
Just come here for the internet. Look carefully here.

The Mines is not so bad after all.

I watched the super exciting Badminton Final Olympics London 2012 between our one and only Datuk Lee and LinDan.
It was saddening. I was so hopeful until the last second.
Well, that's okay. You're always the best in my mind and the pride of Malaysia, Datuk Lee CW.

I love the feeling of the day. 
But this day is going to end soon, so I'm going to enjoy and appreciate the day even I'm alone.


Write again soon =)

Friday, July 27, 2012

FT Island All Time

You have GOTTA listen to this!
This is a symbol of severe passion and love =)

~FT Island~

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

18th July 2012

Dated 18th July,

1. Wake up, Grateful
2. Pray
3. Strong, Positive thoughts
4. Have faith, Pray
5. Feed, Sleep
6. Pray, Grateful



Thursday, July 12, 2012

12th July Looking forward to Langkawi

Counting down ONE more week to go!

I'll be in Langkawi Island next week!! Five of us will be in Langkawi Island! We'll depart from airport from Thursday and come home on Sunday!
WOohoo!!!! Hooray!!!!

I have only been to Langkawi once, when I was 17 and I went there with a whole Taekwondo Team of MRSM Kuala Terengganu for Kejohanan Taekwondo MRSM Se-Malaysia! The unforgetable times! I still keep my name tag which they had printed our name on it for every participant

With the curving roads up and down the hills. And the beautiful view passing by when I looked outside from the bus window. Then the jetty, the boat we were riding, the deep blue sea. We were so young, escorting by our Taekwondo coach and teachers. We did not visit around the island since we were there for tournament. Our accomodation was provided by MRSM Langkawi. We had only visited at one of the mall which I did not know what was the name of the mall and we stopped by the Dataran Lang. That was all.
Anyway, we had a lot of fun there during tournament. Guess what? I got GOLD!!!

Next week, I'm going to experience the trip. And I know the moment I see the things there, maybe a restaurant or even a pathway is going to remind me of the time. I'm ready for it!!

Well, I hope all five of us, consisting of Samuel, Ann, Yong Ling and one of their friend, last but not least, me are going to have safe journey,  blessed, wonderful, enjoyful and delirious trip!
See you when I'm home on Sunday!

I'll write again.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

10th July

My Taekwondo senior, Ragu (first row, third from left) posted this photo on his Facebook wall.

Sukan Remaja Pahang 2005. I was qualified for SUKMA after getting silver in this competition. Ragu and I were the only chosen from Master Liu to join the Temerloh Contingent in Sukan Remaja Pahang. The tournament took place in TLDM Kuantan. I remember on the day of Final, my mates who were in the same Taekwondo class with me included my younger brother Cheng, who was one my best friend Lynn came together by Master Liu's car. (2nd row, second from the left)

I cried after I lost to Kuantan representative in the Final. Then I sit at one corner and cried so hard. It was my first defeat. It was the first time the referee's hand did not point to me. Then many caring people came to me. One of the coach checked my wrist and fingers if I was injured. According to him, he noticed that I did not lock my fist during the sparring. He thought I was injured.

And the moment that I remember very clearly and I swear I will not forget it for the rest of my life. My Coach Master Liu came to me too. He said:" You don't need to cry. You did very excellent in there." And he convinced me that it was my first major tournament and I was still fresh and my opponent had more experienced than me. But I was still upset. And what came next from him was indeed touching.
 " You're a very good Taekwondo athlete. I knew it since long time ago. And you made me proud in front of so many people. Everyone said you were good. 教练是不会看错人的。 Now don't cry anymore."

Everything he said mattered to me so much. I was so thankful for him. He's the greatest Taekwondo Coach in my life. I missed that moment so much.

I'm grateful for having such mesmerizing moment in my life.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Big Fat Wolf

I'm feeling fat.
I'm feeling bloated.

The woman 10 years older than me refused to let me try her suit because she was so scared of my body would tear her suit apart...

Friends are showing off slender figure in Facebook.
Proudly posted about her weight.

What should I do?

(What should I do?)


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

More Important to be Nice

It's Nice to be Important,


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

18 June 2012

My favourite activity while I'm logging in my Blogger account is:

I would review the blog posts that I had written on the same date or same month of the past years.

For instance,

It's 18 June today, so I would definitely browse for the older blog posts on 18 June 2010 or 2011.
If there was no posts on the date, then I would read the blog post closest to the date or posts of the month.
I want to know what I was doing, how was I feeling on that time.

It feels really GRRR--EEE---ATE  reading the old blog posts, although sometimes I would feel a little awkward reading the awkward posts.
There are the posts which give me the giggling and smiling and the posts which make me sad too.

Up and down, up and down. And they are part of my life, my experiences, my soul...

This is WOnderful, a electronic pet I've been keping since 2009 =)

Powerful woman


Some people are thinking " What has the 'powerful woman' to do with me?", "Not interest", "I'm with a powerful man, I don't need to become a powerful woman" and you name it.

I'm one of the kind of person who adore and severely admire powerful woman!
Hillary Clinton, Indra Nooyi, Oprah Winfrey, are my idols for powerful women, even recently I found one, She's not in the Word's Most Powerful Women listed by Forbes. She is Kelly Cutrone.

Quick Facts About Kelly Cutrone: 
Full name: Kelly Cutrone
Age: 46
Birthday: November 13
Hometown: Camillus, NY

Kelly Cutrone is the founder of fashion public relations firm People’s Revolution, which is based in New York City and Los Angeles. Kelly is the author of the New York Times best-selling book If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You and Normal Gets You Nowhere. She has appeared on The Hills, The City, and Kell on Earth, a beloved but short-lived 2010 Bravo reality show that documented her life in NYC.  (obtained from Wetpaint )

She has this super straight-forward and no-nonsense attitude which really got me totally attracted by her.

And I have already put her books into my To-Read list. Yayy!!!! The next thing to do is check her book out in the bookstores!

Stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back
Be Honest and allow yourself to make mistakes

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I'm with Binge Eating

Until very recently, almost all of my friends who have not seen me for more than couple of months had given me the same response and words when they saw me.

"Oh! You have gained weight! Have you been stop exercising?"

Well, I have to admit even I notice that I have gained really a lot of weights.
Which I think I have this Binge Eating Disorder.
Look here to understand.

By reviewing the sypmtoms of binge eating. I found myself qualify enough for binge eating.

I have been eating large amounts of food, everybody says I have a super terrible appetite.
And if I was eating with people who eat only very little, I would eat again, quietly in my room.
Keep stuffing food inside my stomach.
And then, I would very regret and guilty. Keep blaming myself for not stopping earlier.
But the next time, I would do the same, same amount, same situation.

I know that I'm getting fatter, but I just couldn't stop eating more.
I hope it would be better if I write this down.

Friday, May 11, 2012


There is always a right track for us as a part of the beautiful creature in this world.

God arranged the right path for us when He created us.

Then it's our natural responsibility to discover it while He's guiding and watching us.

We have to have this little faith and believe in ourselves.
Life is a journey. You will reach the right path when you have faith in yourself and put your effort on it.
The painful experiences are just a little obstacles and tests for you to get you ready to the unknowns along the right track.

When your boat is sinking on an ocean, point it to your home and keep sailing.

Never stop fighting and Never give up!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Losing it

I have been becoming very less motivated and losing the radical self love.

Why change?
Is it because the goals and the dreams of mine has become so vague?

It's time to set the sail and start steering the boat before any regrets!
Action! DO it for real..

Come on wakey wakey, Siewjye!!!
Set the goals again! Hope it's never too late!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I-n Lo ve

I think I'm in love...

In love with musical band.
In love with FT Island.
In love with CN Blue.
In love with different kind of music.

In love and addicted.

FT Island

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

April 2012

Just a little update that I would like to add in my blog.

About the exciting weekend that I had mentioned at my previous, I have participated in a few activities during Fiesta Hari Terbuka Astar.

I got 3rd place in Larian Astar which was totally a failure for me. Feeling just like I got a 'F' in my Dynamic.
And for the team up with Amirul Syazwan and Azwan Bunjing, and also Hanif in Explorace, my team got the 1st placing, together with another team. There were 2 teams which share the 1st place.

Things were not just that simple that day. After a long argument with the commitee, the finalize result was 2 teams sharing the 1st place. Well, i felt sorry to my teamates. Despite my terrible performance during the team race, they did not give me some weird and shytty attitudes. This is the main thing that I felt grateful for.

Thank you, Amirul Syazwan, Azwan and Hanif.
So.. we have not distribute the prize money and the hamper yet. But the memory is something worth the most that you all had given to me. Thanks again.

Despite my decreasing sports spirit and performance, I'm not giving up no matter how.

Write again.

Friday, March 16, 2012

For the time

Owhh... This weekend is going to be an exciting plus pushing weekend!

Although I'm a little scare and nervous now...I feel irregular...
Just like a cloud with irregular shape.. my heart is bouncing like a squirrel is skipping up and down inside.

And I'm blanked with what I'm going to do on Sunday, with myself being in a team full with UM elite runners.
Although it is just a fun racing game, but I'm scared that I'd screw everything up...
Worry that I'm not giving what others expected me to give...

I wish....
Tomorrow and Sunday will be totally awesome days, as it might be be the last time I enjoy these activities in UM.
I couldn't expect too much miracles with the little amount effort that I have given in.

Still, hope for the best! Have faith in myself =)

Monday, March 12, 2012


OMG, Omg, OmG!!!

How am I supposed to be in one team with Amirul Syazwan and Azwan Bunjing when their running time is twice faster than mine?

Save me please!!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

6th March


Friday, March 2, 2012


When he called, I asked him how long will he be in Sg Buloh.
He said maximum years is 3-4 years, and he said, He was in Lanchang for 5 years.

I did not realize it was 5 years.
I doubted that, and he said, we only became closer during Form 3. Yeah, pretty sure that!

But, still so many question marks...


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Happy Birthdays


二月28号 Christine Siew Ye, Happy birthday. Muacksss...
                 我最崇拜的女神Angelababy, Happy birthday to you!希望她愿望成真,开开心心
29号 我自己生日。希望家人健健康康,开开心心
三月1号, Henry Lee, Happy birthday to you!!

双鱼座的朋友们, 要幸福哦!!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

23rd February 2012

I have been repeating 南拳妈妈's songs recently.
I'm surprised with their fame here which considered to be not-so-popular because their songs are amazing.
They have talents and that's why Jay Chou had been associating with them.
And I believe in Jay Chou's taste.

Listening their old albums reminds me about how fabulous memories are during my age at 15-18.Sometimes they are right about it, 
"it's not the lyrics of the songs that make us cry, it's the memories beneath the song that remind us."
 This is a picture we took after our SPM, during Deepavali in our beloved teacher's as well as our coach for Badminton house.

Monday, February 13, 2012



四年前的四年, 我第一次离乡背井,当时的那一天, 是用数不清的泪滴度过的。
八年来,错的决定作了太多太多。 跌跌撞撞的来到了这里。


Write again soon =)

Friday, February 10, 2012


There are so many stories about diligence when I was young.
Ants are hardworking, bees are perserve and diligence, deers are intelligent.
And they were all ended up well and have good paybacks.

And now,
I really need to stick to the motto and learn from those little hardworking fellas.
As I have always heard, sweetness comes after the bitterness.
I gotta work hard and have faith.
Believe in myself and wish for the day of sweetness will come soon, very soon.
Be diligence, less complaints.

Fingers crossed.
Write again soon =)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Family I

I'm so sad,
Like a sad little Panda.

Feeling so dull and down.
I hope my family will get through this very very soon.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Still dreaming

I'm a pretty good dreamer

I am not sure what makes me that. People say those who born as Piscean are great dreamers.
And should I blame that? No No..In fact, I am pretty proud to become a Piscean.

Therefore, I'm still dreaming, and will continue dreaming.

Though it may not quite possible.

I should say it this way, I hunt dreams, and not that dreams haunting me.

Monday, January 9, 2012

9th January 2012

I'm wondering what was I doing and what was happening on the same day last year.

When it comes to buying a running shoes, there are so much to consider.
Price, types of running shoes, colors, design and even its results and effects of wearing it.

You should read this,
All three painful truths and some unveiled facts and history that are I have none of the acquaintance.
The painful truths about running shoes...

In a paper for the British Journal Of Sports Medicine last year, Dr Craig Richards, a researcher at the University of Newcastle in Australia, revealed there are no evidence-based studies that demonstrate running shoes make you less prone to injury. Not one.
"We used to run in canvas shoes,' he said.
'We didn't get plantar fasciitis (pain under the heel); we didn't pronate or supinate (land on the edge of the foot); we might have lost a bit of skin from the rough canvas when we were running marathons, but generally we didn't have foot problems.

Write again soon.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fair attention

If your Facebook friend list contains more than a thousand friends, or possesses an exploded friend list, it's pretty confirmed, that you could not see some friends' posts of recent statuses, life-happening, photos etc.
When you could not see them, you neglect the fact because you do not even know the fact exists.
When your purpose to have a Facebook account is to reconnect with oldest friends and long time friends who are thousand miles apart from you, all their life-going-ons are no longer your concern.Their posts might be wiped away when the other half of your friends in the list excessively update their self-obssessed, self centred, and even things those are not worth to be seen on our homepage.

So, I removed some of the unknown friends from the list to reduce the amount. I'm sure that they and I do not share any friendship. Sorry for those who have been removed.